There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
