'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
