Quick, to the slutcave!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
