we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
NoShamevember. You game?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
