i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
These tits shall not be calmed
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
