Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
