you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize