So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize