I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
