Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
