how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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