Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
