Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
