I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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