Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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