I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
