I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
