i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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