dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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