I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
