marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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