conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
They took my balls.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
