how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
