The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
