If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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