And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
