K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
