is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
