pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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