it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize