I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
either way he was missing a nipple.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
