To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
