Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize