apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
