reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
