worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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