after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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