Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
false alarm. still invincible.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
