One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
