I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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