I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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