Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
porn star boner night. come get it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
