i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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