just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
