The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
