the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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