well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My bed smells like the plague
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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