You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
