I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize