you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
