Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
