hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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