It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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