The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
