dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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