forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
