so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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