i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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