I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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