I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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