If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We're too hungover to prance.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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