i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
