So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
